How to survive the early days with a baby and a toddler | Northern Virginia Newborn Photographer

Choosing to have a second child (or third, or...) can be almost as anxiety inducing as having your first.  If your first baby was challenging (like mine!) you might be anticipating another era of lack of sleep, frequent feedings, and near constant snuggles with your little one. And if your toddler is like most, thinking about the needs of a newborn on top of the needs of an active 2- or 3- year old might send you into a tailspin.  Don't worry, it'll all work out! 

After bringing home three newborns of my own and talking with countless other moms of multiple children, I'm sharing a few tips to put your mind at ease when you're planning to bring a baby home to an older sibling. 

1. Humans are amazingly adaptive.

   Life still happens and you'll miraculously go along with it. It may not be pretty sometimes, but try to enjoy the ride, or at least laugh at it, especially when there's poop involved. Figure out what works for your family and try not to worry what others may think. Case in point, we've been cosleeping and playing musical beds with our kids since I realized my oldest slept best (and so did the rest of us) right next to me. It's not for everyone, but it works for us.

2. Accept help.

   I think this gets easier when you have a second kid and I know it's said frequently, but say yes to offers of help. Prepared meals. A toddler playdate. Extended family stays. Drop any notions of the way things have to be and let yourself be taken care of. People want to help. Tell them how. Let them grab your dry cleaning. And a Starbucks while they're at it. 

3. Say no.

   It's okay to become a bit of a hermit, if that's what your family needs. You don't have to accept social invitations (and when baby is really young you probably want to avoid crowds and unnecessary germs). When you do make plans, make them with people who are supportive. Other parents of young ones are usually the best to commiserate and laugh with. 

4. Let go of expectations.

   And let your standards slide, for at least a little bit (but maybe forever). Things can be hectic, especially while you're figuring out the new normal. But, as you already know, just when you think you have everything figured out, kids change. Try to flow with it and life will be more peaceful. There will usually be something that doesn't quite happen like you expected or hoped, but things generally work out. 

5. Find a fellow mom to talk with.

   The first weeks after birth are a roller coaster. It can be emotional and isolating, even if you know what to expect. Find another Mama who can relate and be a sounding board. And if you don't have a Mama friend, reach out to me (seriously). We all need a fellow mom who we can keep it real with. 

Nicole Sanchez Photography works with busy parents in Northern Virginia, Washington, DC, and Maryland to create stress-free photo sessions that take all the loving, fun, and chaotic moments of family life to make beautiful photos and films that families will love looking at year after year.  Contact me today to start planning a custom photography experience that's perfect for your family.

The secret to a relaxed newborn session with two children | Northern Virginia Family Photographer

What's the secret to a stress-free newborn photography session at home with an older sibling? It's the secret to just about everything in life that involves children. Just take it easy. The moment you plan something is the moment one kid or the other will decide to do something completely out of the ordinary to throw you a curveball. It's Murphy's Law.  The bane of parents' existence, but it can make for a great session.

Children can easily sense when we're stressed. Even newborns. If often will make them more clingy (and whiny).  So if you're worried about everything going perfectly, that's a surefire way to ensure it will not. I'll go even further and say perfect isn't what you want anyway. Life with kids is messy and chaotic. Documenting it as it is, sweet and difficult moments alike, is where the goodness lies. That's where the moments we capture together will be ones you and your children look back on and remember, “that's how our life was.” And it was awesome.

I shared images from my in home maternity session with this Northern Virginia family just a few weeks ago. It was a joy to witness a bit of their journey to becoming a family of four.

The early days of life with a newborn can be a bit of a blur. Between lack of sleep and and seemingly endless routine of feeding and diaper changes and naps, the days may seem slow but they add up so quickly.  Before you know it weeks and months have gone by. So it's especially sweet for me to document those very first days, freezing moments that may otherwise be forgotten in the early days parenting haze.

Those days are extra sweet with an older sibling, though they're perhaps a little more chaotic. Nursing sessions are likely less quiet and relaxed and there's an almost constant need to enforce boundaries as a toddler learns the concept of gentle. On top of being exhausted, you've still got to come up with endless ways of entertaining an older sibling and helping them understand their new role as an older brother or sister.

It's a time of adjustment to a new family dynamic. There are new roles and expectations and some falling back into old rhythms. There's a lot of remembering what life was like the first time around and noting what's new the second time. It is hard and sweet. And so special to photograph.  But I'm probably biased. :-)  

Interested in an in-home newborn session?  Contact me today to learn more about a documentary session for your family.